Sports

November 21, 2009: Shown here: Purdue and I.U. alum watch the Old Oaken Bucket Game at Pizzeria Unos, Porter Square, Cambridge, MA. I must admit--even though I attended Purdue, I felt mixed loyalty having grown up in Bloomington and I.U. country. The Indiana University alum were vastly outnumbered at the restaurant; to be fair, however, Unos is Purdue's "turf" in Boston. Purdue went on to win the game, played in Bloomington, 38-21.

Twas the night of Thanksgiving and out of the house
Tiger Woods came a flyin', chased by his spouse.

She wielded a nine iron and wasn't too merry,
Cause a bimbo’s phone number was in his Blackberry.
He’d been cheatin' on Elin, and the story progressed.
Woman after woman stepped up and confessed.

He’d been cheatin’ with Holly, and Jaimee, and Cori,
With Joselyn, and Kalika. The world had the story.
From the top of the Tour to the basement of blues,
Tiger’s sad sordid tale was all over the news.

With hostesses, 'n waitresses, he had lots of sex,
When not in their pants, he was sendin' them texts.

Despite all his cryin’ and beggin' and pleadin',
Tiger’s wife went investin' -- a new home in Sweden.

And I heard her exclaim from her white Escalade,
"If you’re gettin' laid  then I’m gettin' paid."

She’s not pouting, in fact, she is of jolly good cheer,
Her pre-nup made Christmas come early this year.

-Thanks, Lucius Gilford

ptemples: Seen on a car with a Massachusetts Youth Hockey/Boston Bruins special license plate: "My other car is a Zamboni."

See original: Seen on a car with a Massachusetts Youth Hockey/Boston Bruins special license plate: "My other car is a Zamboni."

ptemples: ESPN: "Fan eats only 500 calories per day until the Cubs win 5 games on a row." That poor guy is gonna starve to death.

See original: ESPN: "Fan eats only 500 calories per day until the Cubs win 5 games on a row." That poor guy is gonna starve to death.